hello world

well hello there world it has been a bit of a long time since i have been here. seems to me that it seems like my life would be drama infested and very eventful. i guess i can think of a thing or two to talk bout. you kno me i will rant about pretty much anything if you'll let me. =] its a gift i must say. so the last time i checked i wrote showed my letter that i wrote to OD. btw shout out to bryant! who throws yogurt covered raisins like a psycho path! adam will win! bahahha. so anyways. on whatever day that was..prolly tuesday. yes tuesday the day before kyle and michelle's bday. we had collab and kimmy tells me that miss hill was talking hella shit about me during bball practice. oh big suprise! whoop dee doo bitch! and then my uneventful day turned worse wen i was greated with a beautiful yellow pass sending me to the athletic office during 2nd period. we werent doing anything particularly special so i was glad to leav but i knew for a fact hta tit was probably about swimming. duh. so pilawski talk to me blah blah blah. listens to me say all these things that the coaches and other teachers have done to me ...lik hello! call the administration! harrassment perhaps? no cus pilawski who i used to think was such a cool guy is such a lil bitch. he wouldnt do anything about it but just try to pull the "well if u stayed on the team this long than why dont u jsut wait another week cus they need you" card. yeah the fuck right. i mean if i pushed and forced myself to keep doing this bs for how many months wat makes u think that i would want to do it on my last real week of school. i am so glad i made the decisions i did. forget it. and forget them. and fuck my parents! seriously they back me this whole time they even push me and stuff. and guess wat they yell at me ten times more about nothing. and aobut not goin to a walk on meet today saying that i promised to go. why the fuck would i go the day after prom? and most esp if i didnt go to ccs adn i wasnt training the week before. i am so tired of swimming. so done with it. i have passion but its not in the action of doing teh sport. its for the ppl that i do it with. i have passion for being a leader. i think ppl mix that up sometimes and expect somehting out of me that i dont want to do. i mean i am allowed to finally be selfish.i am going to college. this is when i become independetn and wen i grow by myself. i most def will not call my parents if they keep getitn on myi fucking nerves and ass about everything. it will all be exclusively by emial. cus thats all i do. i dont talk on the phone either. ok so after teh talk with pilawski i was in such a bad mood. i was crying everywhere. tryin to calm down and went back to class. i was so fumed and angry that the coaches had to send pilawski to do their dirty work. jsut email me back you dont need to talk to me face to face. well after school i went for a run with kp. that felt really good to get a good run and figure things out. just letting everythign go. yenno.

wednesday was kyle and michelles bday. if the day could have been any more perfect yet stressful. so it was my last day of tests and stuff. ex sci and math. yee yee. i was planning on studying during first period but i ended up havin to do stuff for the lil bday party. so i made the beautiful pink ice cream cake. so basically ms haggs put it away for me. and then at lunch i was pulled out of class early. and then i sent out passes to everyoen sayin that it was for a fundraising thing. it worked perfectly!! hess was there. we partied it up lik no other. and then kyle and chels were at confirmation. and so then carlie tim liz and i went to go kidnap him. lik really kidnap him with a blindfold and everything thru the whole quad. it was perfect!! so funny too he was freaking out. the suprise for him went well too. omg it just was so perfect. i hope that he really appreciated it because i planned the whole thing! yee yee. i kno hess loved it.

prom was last night. it was eh. short. ok i guess. im watchin a movie now. im too distracted.
peace

long day

Dear Coach O'Donnell,
This email is to inform you that I will not be participating this year in our CCS championships. Although I was able to qualify in the 100 back and get closer to my best time at WCALS, there are many other factors that have helped me make this decision. So that you know, my decision has been made and it will not change. I have discussed this with my parents, my club coach, and some of my teammates. I have thought really hard about everything that happened throughout the season and what I usually expect to get when i attend CCS. I know, for a fact, that when I am sitting there on Santa Clara's pool deck I will not be having the fun and complete satisfaction as I have achieved in my past three years competing in CCS.

This season has been a very big roller coaster ride for me. It all started off pretty bad from the very beginning with the confrontation between trollope, o'malley, and myself. I had teachers who were telling me that I was dumb for crying and making such a fuss, that I had no right to even have an opinion! They told me that I was just another student! But isn't this my high school career? shouldn't, we, students have a very big impact on how the season would be fun because these are our memories that we will never forget? I won't drop any names but there were definately a couple non-swimming coaches who were telling me this. I was heavily embarrassed and I did not like how this private information was being passed outside of our coaching staff and myself. Right then I knew that this season was going to be an unpleasant one, I almost did not come back. Why did I stay then might you ask? It is because of my teammates. These girls are the most special and pure things about high school swimming that i love the most. They are the reason why I pulled through. It was because they asked me to stay. So then I rejoined the team after not being allowed to go to Sectionals because I fell under two sinus infections and one flu back to back. Getting back into swimming was very hard especially with the workouts that were being given to us. No offense, the workouts had a good idea behind it to build the teams endurance before the racing season started, but they were the most boring sets I have ever gone through. Most of them were huge amounts of 200s or 50s that were at a way too big of a rest. And then the sets continued to be like that for the whole season until the moment we started tapering. I think that made it really hard for sprinters, such as myself, to get any sprint work in or get-up and go speed. Sprint sets need to be more complex to make it interesting. Not only were the workouts very boring, the line-ups never changed.

The first meet I swam the 200 free, which I am pretty sure I told you I really did not want to swim, and the 50 free. My 200 free turned out so bad because we were in an indoor pool that I could not breathe in and because I cannot swim events past a 100 anymore. I was also put into the B and C relays. At first this did not bother me too much because you were trying out the new team and doing line-ups for the first time. But then it continued and I was not being put into anymore individual events. See, the girls told me that I should talk to you about it and I tried to, but whenever I started to I got really scared because of what happened the first time I tried to talk to the coaches about something. I did not want more gossip spreading about me througout the faculty at our school. And what bothered me also was that I was never given a chance to even swim in the A relays. I was on the record breaking, CCS champion relay team last year! It was a huge disappointment. So I stopped caring and trying my hardest at your workouts. What was the point or my motivation? I was being ignored and I know for a fact no one ever got my splits off of the relays. This was my senior year and I was being treated like a nobody. So midseason I asked myself again, Why am I here? If I am so uncomfortable on this team why don't I jsut quit. And I almost did. No one gave me the time of day. Pretty much every person I knew from our competitive teams noticed and questioned it. The only answer I could think of was that none of the coaches liked me because I opened my big fat mouth that first meeting we had. So again, the question arises, Why did I stay? And again, the answer is because of my teammates. I stayed because I was the person most of them came to when they had a problem or when they needed someone to talk to. I told myself that I will go as far as WCALs where the points I score matter the most and I will stop there. CCS is a very individual meet for our team. We have a large group of talented swimmers but not enough to get first of second in the section and I know that I am not even close to being considered for an A relay, therefore, I decided that this is the time for me to pull out and let the rest of the team finish the season on their own. Hopefully, there is another girl who was able to qualify for the 100 back and now has the opportunity to swim it.

I regret not being able to talk to you about this after WCALs but I had to leave for church. I wish the best of luck to you for the rest of your season and the ones that follow. I am sorry that things had worked out this way and was not the experience that I had expected after last years achievements. I would really appreciate it if you did not spread this around to many of the other coaches and hopefully there are no bitter feelings. If you would like to talk to me about this in person, you may, but my decision stands.

-- Victoria Pichay


that was the long very long email that i sent to OD last night. so i guess now i am not in high school swimming anymore. today was a very long day. i had a physics test that i failed miserably. but supposedly ikezi says im fine cus i have such a high a. well idk. and today was jsut not good. i slept for lik a billion hours i feel lik ughh. my head hurts. i dont think i have any homework for tomro. so im safe. and i jsut needa do my math test and ex. sci test and then im doneski. i have the senior awards night on weds. and kyle and michelle's birthday party. i hope my paretns dont expect me to swim tomoro. im too tired. ok im out. night

results from wcal trials

so thought i would jsut let this out cus i am still a lil shocked that it even went that well for me. so basically. i swam teh 50 free. went a 26.0 and made the top 8. HOWEVER, because we can only allow 4 girls from our team to qualify for finals i go booted out cus i was 5th. oh well. thats fine. i guess today was the last time i saw that even individually in high school. and then i swam the 100 back. swam again haley and hillary from mitty. and caroline i jsut wanted to beat caroline. and i did but lik 2 seconds. mwahahha. and the coaches didnt ever let me swim that event. wat a joke. i killed it. i drafted right off of hilary and jstu took her speed. bahah. but now i have to find a fast suit to wear for saturday. and i have lots of work to do. =/ adn yeah. so i should get ont hat. and i need to look over stuff for my placemetn test on saturday. i am going to confirmation!! to watch all you peeps. i am kdina excited. ok im out.

wcal trial???

hey andrew! i kno that your reading this! bahahah. so anyways life is ehh. confusing. i am so tired because last night i stayed up till 12 wen i was planning on sleeping at 1045. fricken boyfriend and i got into some beef. again as usual. its annoying because he thinks that i blame him for everything which is sometimes true. but then at other times its not cus lik how can i not blame it on you if im hurting. if im hurting then something must be wrong. either from your side or my side. i tell him but he doesnt listen. he says he'll change or fix things but it gets worse and worse. i dont kno i am so confused. he told me that he is gonna try and fix things but if i am really hurting that he wants me to jsut end it. i dont kno anymore. i dont kno if college is gonnna work out for us. i dont kno if i have the trsut and stuff to really work this out. its sooo soo fricken hard being the girl that doesnt kno anything. he has all these new best friends from his fraternity. and he is always with them. i dont kno who they are. he doesnt tell me anything aobut htem other than the fact that they are his brothers. i mean sure i probably am a lil insecure. but i am. i admit it. its jsut really hard not knowing whats going on. and then i see pictures on his phone of him going off places and i wish he told me he does thtat. cus all he tells me is that he went to school and ate and slept. its the anal person inside of me that thinks he is hiding things from me. i dotn want to think that but i kno i will anyways. and then there are still those gross pics and videos of laina and ali throwing up. tahts kidnaish disgusting perhaps?? lik seriuosly i want to throw up watchin it. why would u keep that on yoru phoen. yuck.


so yeah now i am here. at school. in the library. gettin ready for school to start. i am leaving school at 1 to go to wcals at shp. tis not going to go well at all. i beleive taht i am going to fail miserably. more news to come on taht.


so school is almost over. this is near the end of my last full week of school. how crazy is that??? i have so many things that i am still stressing about. major senioritis but i dotn really at the same time. kmae and i arent rooming together anymore cus shelley got her appeal so now they are roomign together. no big. i wasnt mad at kmae but i think she thought i was. but its ok. its jsut the small fears came back. lik who is my roommate going to be? are we gonna get along? will my floormates be good? will i find ppl who really understand me? i am scared. but i def wanna bring a mini fridge. and hopefully my roommate likes rice cus i wanan bring a mini rice cooker. hahahah. and a tv. and i want a laptop. yea yea. but yeah college is so many scary things going on. so many ups and downs. so many maybes. its a scary world out there. i only am going 2 hours away but thats still feels lik a totally diff world. ill be by myself. no friends. well there are hella ppl from sf going but who knows wats goin to happen with taht. hopefully i make the swim team but they let me enjoy and hopefully swim fast again. holly deneffe got her appeal =] lots and lots of ppl are attending. so i only have to take one final and its in curley's class!! bahah curley!! i can just easily bs that shit. math grade is good. i am happy. hopefully all my grades stay up because if i have to take a final i am jsut ot going to study and my grades will fall cus i dotn care. i jsut nee this to be over.
almost doneski.

may 7 -- cipi's birthday, wcal trials
may 8 -- eglish presetnation, gov reading quiz, shoes for prom??
may 9 -- english placement test in aptos, wcal finals, prom shoes
may 10 - make cake for michelle and kyle's bday, make something for mommy on her day
may 11 - mothers day, physics test
may 12 -
may 13 - kyle and michelle's bday, sr exempt due date, math and ex. sci test.
may 14 - who gives a fuck!! hahah
may 15 - senior skip day!, nails, get rid of tan lines, sleep enjoy!
may 16 - prom! hair at 11, makeup at 3 yeee
may 17 - cut/color hair
may 18 - transition liturgy
may 19 - chill no finals!
may 20 - final/final, marques finishes school, chill
may 21 - curley final, senior picnic, yearbooks
may 22 - graduation practice 9-12, baccalaurete mass 7
may 23 - GRADUATION!! 10 am
may 24 - graduation party 12-630 ish (invites to come)
may 25 - sept 24 summer -- who gives a fuck im going out and living life!

NOLA PICS

slaughtered

today we had a meet against mitty. we seriously got slaughtered like no other! it was so horrible. but just unbelievable at the same time. cus we were undefeated before this and they jsut destroyed us. so i was thinking can u imagine if they went up against ndb. thats even worse. poor things.

so much has been happeneing. the blogging isnt really there. i havent been feeling it too much. today jsutin asked alyssa to prom. it was funny. he got an electronic car and wrote prom on it. i walked with it wen we went across teh street. it went well. i am a tad bit worried about him saying something about hte hotel room thing. and cipi is asking khrysten if we want to go in the limo with her. but we arent. and the room is so much cheaper. and im pretty sure our numbers are set and wat not. and mommy is fine with the room thing cus kats mommy is going to be there. which is awesome. and then we are all gonna get our hair and makeup by my couisn and her bff. well maybe. it depends but itll b good. hopefully my dress comes in lik soon. and i mean really soon cus i want to see it all. marques need to get his tux. and i need to get our corsage and boutineres. and stuff.

i am going to be baking a lot this weekend. i am going to try making ice cream cake as a practice round for kyle anderberg's bday and hess too. so i am gonna do that, brownies and/or choco cookies. my snickerdoodles are still very tastey. i hoep all the retreat ppl are doing well and i hope that they liked my letters. so i think i have a fat crush on the cute shy kyle anderberg. well sorta. haha hes so sweet and loving. hes so shy of girls so that makes him very loving and caring. kmill doesnt really talk to me. and i texted him today and he kidna texted me but not really. and hes nto telling me wats wrong in his life that is making things so hard. my head really hurts. i need to sleep. but i also need to do that math test. and i need to read. and stuff. i have to do my allergy shots tomro mornign. ughhh. no fun.

i sadly dont talk to my lover. he is so busy with midterms and his fone doesnt work. or he jsut doesnt text me back. it makes me very sad. that i jsut cant/dont tlak to him. so i mean its lik im single sometimes. i mean if we are gonna be away can we at least talk to each other. now its a full on jsut not talk and update each other aobut lives and wat not. ughh. its the weirdest feeling int eh world.

graduate soon. graduation party. sunday after...park near my house. everyone is invited. info to come.

so i guess its going to rain tomro and this weekend. oh speaking of this weekned. i dont really have much to do. well i guess i hsould be studying for physics and other school things. but i think that i will be baking. and then i might hit up the mall to check out bakers with aimee to look at shoes. and i need to figure out wat kidn of jewlery i want. cus next weekend is wcals. so its hard to do anything. but yeah bf is far away in sac. khyrsten needs to go dress shopping but she needs to do some other stuff. all the juniors are taking sats on saturday. no life no life. its kidna nice

omg i read my swim schedule for the summer. i swear to god debbie doesnt think tha we have lives ouside of swimming. how am i supposed to be going out to see ppl in the evenign? i swim int eh mornign. i work all day. adn then she wants me to swim agian. i dont go. fuck her. id otn care that much. i want to enjoy my time before i go to college. maybe i jsut shouldnt work in the morning. if she doesnt give me the site supervisor position. i will nto work. ugh


things to come:
may 1: rain, finish college stuff
may 9: wcal finals, uc english test
may 13: kyle and michelle's bday
may 15: senior skip day, ccs trials
may 16: senior ball, ccs finals
may 23: graduation!!!!
may 24: graduation party

btw. i am rooming with kmae in college =]
peace out

fourteen days

soo basically the first week back from coming home from immersion. it has been super difficult i am not gonna lie. cus in all the classes we basically have one more unit to do and i jstu feel lik i am not doing/gonna do anything and there is not point for school right now. so yeah i am kinda being overwhelmed right now because of everything with the immersion. and kyle anderberg and i are doing a presentation for romoorho's homeroom. i need to make a power point aobut the work that we did with josalyn's group. so i needa get that form her and somehow kyle and i need to figure out how to make a power point. hahahaha. hes the cutest kiddo ever! he needs to get not shy lol. i would take him to my prom but i have my boyfriend. who i am going to ask to prom tomoro at his demo. omg that is so scary for me. i dont want to ask him in front of everyoneeeeeee but i guess i am. i hope jesse follows through lik the loser he is. idk i jsut texted him and he is being a lazy butt. and wat not. so yeah.


immersion was amazing. and i want to talk about it but i have all the time int he world but i am in the mood to do some baking. cus i owe lots of peeps and i am going to make it for the retreat ppl. and i need to write the letters for them and all that jazz. its going to be great i guess. i hope. and then i am going to go prom dress shopping tomro mornign with my mommy. its gonna be fun. i should be showering and allt aht stuff now but i think i will tomro mornign. hopefully i can get some sleep. ok i need to start now. lol. nighty night. ill do this later.

love you, miss you all.