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i know its been a while since ive said a single word on ehre. but there has been a lot going on in my life and i jstu cant deal with the stress of school and swimming.
but i am not here to complain of all the difficulties of life and such. im here to pay tribute to all those who hav lost a loved one. especially to vicky cao and adrien chico. both of htese two beautiful women have lost their mothers within the last month. esp to chico who lost her yesterday. i keep all your families in my prayer and stay strong. and maybe one day i will learn how to do it too.
<333 much love
victoria ann ria pichay
im not exatly sure if i agree with wat god has been up to these past couple of months. iono wat he has been thinkin or what he is doing but i definately do not agree.
today was a day filled with emotions. a lot of things on my mind tha ti jsut needa get out befroe i explode.
i feel lik such a bitch. i feel soo guilty and stupid iono wat i was thinkin. today i was hella hating on jessica in my head. god i was so selfish and stupid i thot she was being soo annoying and stupid and i couldnt stand her. but wat an idiot i am cus i think that only bad things happen to me and forget about everyone else. her cousin was killed in teh drive by in fremont this weekned and god i feel lik the biggest bitch in the world. how could i be so stupid nad forget that other ppl go thru the same pains as i do. i shouldnt be treating ppl lik htat and its horrible. but how could her cousin get shot lik that. she was only 19 and she got shot because of something that her bf did. she was shot in the head and her brains basically exploded. i was jsut thinkin aobut wat its lik to lose someone lik that wihtout warning. life would stop for me. but it doesnt stop it keeps on going and the more u isolate urself the more u hav to catch up on. and life will never stop for u no matter how much u want it to.
during practice iw as gettin really frustrated that i was wasting my life doing something that i absolutely hate. my parents want me to do something productive with my life and guess what wasting 2 nd a half hours or plus a day doesnt help. esp if i dont want to do it ever. lik wen i go to college i jsut will quit. im gettin sick of my parents controlling my life and forcing me to do things that i dont wanna do. they go around telling their friends aobut my dreams and things that htey kno about me. but no they dont kno anythign about me. cus wen i tell them bout things that i hav dreams for they jsut shoot it down and dont even give me a chance. all i really wanna do is hav a jumpstart on my career. god im soo excited to learn more about sports pyschology. i can at least say that i kno i will love wat i end up doing wit my life. this is wat i really wanna do ....
-quit swimming
-work for hte trainer at my skool
-meet ppl that can help me determine more aobut wat area in sports psychology i want to do
-go to georgetown
god i hate how my parents dont want me to go there. its lik this is my life and my future can u jsut pls let me do wat i want to do. there is a time where htey need to stop or else i mite jsut kill myself. not even joking they drive me crazy that they wont let me do wat i feel lik would make me happy. htey are jsut steppin all over my dreams. they hav taken away so much form me over these years but i will nto let them say no to this. this is wat iw ant and they will nto stop me i will not let them do it. no no no
HEY I GOT A B ON MY HISTORY TEST!! finally. yeee.
peace <3
pray for those that hav left this world..and hold on to those special to u.
so plans for this weekend
thursday-friday: its thanksgiving!!
breakfast-gpas house
lunch-auntie vilmas
dinner-auntie ediths and chilling wit the cousins
then after dinner my mom and i are heading to my auntie vils hosue and we are all going to gilroy at 12 to shop and then after that my mom and i are gonna hit up eastridge and do more shopping yeee yeee!!
umm and sadly after that im going to practice....but hopefully my parents let me go out wit my wonderful godbrother chris, to watch this christmas yee! i wanna see it soo bad!!!
umm and then on sunday going to a french cafe wit zach to do our french culture project.. yup basically
so christmas presents to do list:
sean
aimee
chris
marques
thos are my main squeezes taht i really needa worry about.
my present ideas for marques are moving along whcih make me really happy yet i still dont really kno EXACTLY WAT imma get him which could b a problem. so hit me up if u can and help me out.
ohh and another problme i dont hav a lot of money and my mom doesnt want me spending a lot yeahhh rite. lol.
mkay gonna bake
<333>
lets jsut say today was not the best day ever.
first of all it was a lonely day wihtout my boyfriend.
i had a large history test that i think i did semiwell on and a chemistry test.
at lunch andre and i went to the activities office and ate cereal yumm and studied chemistry. sweet
(slight interuption my boyfriend is calling me and it made my day somewhat better =] hes home!!!)
then ppl were telling me about wat was gonna happen in my religion class tomro and lik we go around in a circle and talk about htose that we hav lsot. iono it jsut really upset me that i hav to go thru this again and remember i couldnt practice today. i jsut went thru the movement but htere was no heart in it at all.
currently im making a collage to bring to class of all the people i hav lost in my life. they are truly special to me.
music: lik you'll never see me again-alicia keys
shout out to vicki cao who is dealing wit her loss very strongly. i could hav never done it lik ehr.
those women in that pic up there are the ones who raised me and showed me how to b me. they always told me family first and i forgot about htat for the longest time. and now that two of them are gone i really see it. my mom is the only one left, and im never gonna let go.
my boyfriend is home so my day has become a lot better. i missed him and he is the one thing that makes me happy<3>
sigh* my man is in LA to film a movie again. he wont b back till tomro night. no more walkin to class wit him for a day and then its thanksgiving break so iono. imma miss my baby. i get nervous wen he gets on teh plane. but its ok i kno hes there and safe. <3 i think my mom is finally accepting the fact that i do hav a bf and its not gonna change which is good.
today class was really slow and jsut blahh nothing lik exciting to talk about. except NATHAN HIJAR!! came and visited and hella alumni are coming back which is really super duper exciting yay! umm... i started getting really stressed otua bout my history and chem test tomro and iono jsut emotions are going all over the place. i cant control it and this is my short break. *sigh* bak to work.
if life could only be a lil simpler
watch alicia keys new music vid-lik youll never see me again
makes you rmemeber that u needa b there for that person everyday. dont make big deals outta nothing and jsut keep on loving them like its hte last day.
rip to all those who hav gone to a better place.
yee. so tomro is going to b a hectic day.
s.a.t. prep classes at saragtoga high for 8 hours! hell! gahs shoot me in the face.
but dont worry cus after im going to hailey lott and carina lukas' sweet 16 that i am super excited for! i cant wait. the bf cant go to the party so seany is my date for hte night. yeee
swimming is so difficult its hard to try and get back and like doing it at the same time. ughh i guess i have no choice tho.
umm i really have nothing to say right now. so peace
so this is my very first blog. my best friend aimee has one so i decided to make one bcus there are jsut some days i feel lik i needa jsut put it out there about wats going on in my life. or if im too lazy to tell everyone soemthin ill send them here. lol
today at skool we got our homecoming pictures. and not gonna lie but its pretty good. =] marques and i are matchin like no other. my boyfriend is a perfectionist.
i also found out of a friends loss of her mom today. life is rough and i should know from experience. i lost 3 important ppl in my life within 6 months. 2 months apart of each other. i coudl never really recover cus one kept happening after the other. but life goes on and these special ppl in our lives want us to keep going. they dont want us to waste our lives mourning and pouting about them..but they want to see us succeed and enjoy our lives that we hav in front of us. life is short. we needa enjoy it.
rest in peace
<3 victoria
