so much

on my mind.



i just want to blog and let it all out but i cant cus im really sick and now i hav a lot to do with essays and a bunch of reading.

peace

allergies

yesterday was killer. i dont even remember and today too. so basically after the showcase i had killer killer allergies like really really bad. so my head has been spinning and my nose is running. my throat hurts really bad. my ears hurt. i have to pop my ears to actually hear something. its rediculous. so i am goin to recap on how much things actually suck in my life. yesterday was the worst day ever!! by the way.



yesterday


so in the morning i woke up early to go to the Yamamoto Invite. that was gay as usual. basically knoch was there and i was really mad because he was coaching another team. and it was so dumb i hate it so much. and then our coach was didnt even start us. we did our own stuff and we did pace on our own. i jsut dont even wanna talk about it anymore. the allergies were killing me. i was dying and i was soo tired and jsut wanted to sleep the whole time.


and then i went to see marques. i drove him to the west coast studio in santa clara so katelyn and her mom could pick him up and go to do this thing. well the thing is marques was helping her with her form. and so they went to a family thing and practiced it there. basically katelyn is a lazzy butt. hahahah.


then i drove around i didnt really have any money. lik 7 bucks so i drove around tyring to find some kind of food. i remembered that in n out doesnt hav tax so i got saved. so i ate that. yum yum


then i went to work at the auction that was hell. it was horrible 7 hours of nothing. i worked as a coat rack. when all the women were taking their picture i was their bitch basically. and then i had to cut all the pictures. my head was spinning really bad and stuff. and i was dying and my body hurt adn i wanted to sleep so bad. i napped in the coat room for a lil bit. but i knew i coudlnt drive all the way home. so i drove to marques' house and his daddy drove me home. it was nice. marques set up a pillow and a blanket for me and i slept on his lap. it was so sweet of him. it really meant a lot to me. got home and went straight to bed.


then i woke up this morning my dad drove me to the buddhist temple where i met up with anne-marie and anna. taht was cool. we did some chanting. and some other stuff. it was cool tho. they were all really nice. blah blah buddhism. haha anne-marie drove me to marques' house and i got my car. drove home slept. drove to independence watched my sister's guitar recital. drove home slept. went to church. came home. the end.


i guess. i dont feel like writing anymore. i need to write an essay but there is no progess for the past hour. ughh. i dont wanna go to school tomro. and kat reminded me about spring spirit week. i wanted to put rollers in my hair for tomro but my mom is too lazy. k im doneski.


hikatkhrysandandrew=]

sad

i am so sad. i cant believe that international showcase is over! its soo sad. i cant believe it! it was amazing. we did so well except that i messed up but i dont kno. ughh my head is in a lot of pain. all of the trees hit me really hard when i was running around and stuff. my head hurts. the fashion show was fun and hip hop was good. oh did i mention my chinese dress ripped when i was practicing for hip hop. it was crazy i was freaking out. but we used safety pins. i hope someone took some really good pictures i wanna see what we all looked like in the end. i think the show in general went really well.

OMG I AM SOO UPSET. so we got some letters in today about senior stuff that is coming up. fuckin senior skip day is on may 15th. its fuckin the day before prom. IT CCS! i have the fuckin day off anywyas i get cheated of my day off how gay is that!!!! ughhhhh!!!!! and prom is the next day. and i wouldnt mind at all that CCS is the same day as prom but its the fact that CCS is later in the day and its soo tiring and i want to get ready with the girls. ughh its so upsetting i cant believe it. i want to go on a a bus or limo or whatever we are doing. i want to enjoy my time for once, i dont wanna be moody like i always am. i jstu wanna spend my last real big weekend with all my friends. =[ i just hope that it does end up going well.


oh shout out to andrew nguyen cus i guess you read my blogs! ahah i hope my prayer worked for your driving home safely. my mom told me to stop giving you a hard time. hope u drove safely.


does anyone know who is making our teacher speech yet? i want to kno. ahaha. when do we get to vote? who should i vote for? mr ikezi's speech was soo soo soo funny last year. my makeup and hair looks super cute. hahhaha. rando sorry.


my head hurts. i cant breathe. i can feel the pollen sitting in my throat right now and it hurts a lot. has anyone seen my bf? jsut wondering he doesnt talk to me. stupid lil wayne concert. ugh i cant believe he didnt come to my last performance. i am soo mad. stupid boys. i was sad that everyone left so early. i wanted to take a billion pictures because i was so sad.


umm so did i mention that ariana's filipino dance was my favortie. the did so well. yes u did well andrew hahah. it was soo good. they were being all serious and everything was on par and perfecto. i also would like to talk about the prom pictures. well first of all ariana and jomar looked amazing when they were tehre. it was perfect. ariana's dress was soo cute and it only would fit her and her classy personality and jomar matched perfectly. and they corsages and boutineers were cute. huge ass red roses. and it was funny because it matched the background perfectly. yet i had a problem because in the background was this really cute mask but it was attached to this really ugly vase so it kept bothering me. A LOT! hahah. umm jesse and shimono's bow ties were crooked. why didnt the ppl taking the picture fix it. i mean come on be concerned with what their picture looked lik. they are paying money for it. haha it really bothered me. and that wasnt the only time. there were a lot of ppl who had that problem. the group picture was really cute too except poor michelle wasnt looking at the camera and was holding money. lik why didnt the guy wait. i mean come on!! hahah

i dont kno what i feel lik talkin about now. i am kinda sad that this thing is all over. i love our showcase. i think we ran the best one over this year. for the most part it was really smooth except for tahitian. that kinda got messed up cus of the music/sound problems. that never seem to fail because that was always the probelm during rallies. speaking of rallies some ppl seem to b convinced that there is going to be a spring rally. but as far as i am concerned and have heard we are donski. and to be honest i dont think anyone on rally board wants to try and do another one. we kinda just did our all in the first few rallies. those were amazing and we kidna got screwed over by football when they lost homecoming. rallies werent fun after that.

i went to breakfast with anne litak, amanda nguyen, and anne marie stone. it was funny.i dont think i have laughed that hard in a while. esp when its about pretty much nothing. lmao. i came late to school. got a pass and made it to class and slept. hahaha. ok im doneski. im tired.


when am i gonna get my best friend again.

simple life

simplicity.

somtimes i liked to wonder what life would be like if everything were to be so simple. like that diasy. diasies are pretty and beautiful, yet simple. thats definately not what is happening rite now. haha.


well today was so stressful. i was soo soo so moody today. i was jsut on the way of having such a bad day. what else can i do tho. its so stressful that i cant even blog about it.


first we had collab. and i was running around everywhere just trying to get things done. then i found ro so we went over to do some dancing. and that TOOK FOREVER! its lik we couldnt get fricken past move. they always would stop and it was getting messy. we only ran throught the whole thing lik twice. and i keep messing up on radio. i go to fast so i need to listen to the beats and stuff more. thats what i will be doing for the next few days.
btw we have free dress tomro!!!

anywyas so after that i had religion and mr curley wasnt there so we didnt do anything. i jsut dont kno what we did to be honest. i think the whole time we jsut kinda talked. oh anne-marie and i rambled about natalie. and htne we complained about the swim team. and we talked about my blogging. and then we talked about FML. which btw i havnte been reading. nothing super exciting so far. oh well. and then i had gov, which we didnt really do anything then etiher. we worked on our presentations and then we all presented. i swear to god we do not do a single thing in that class. tis really not that important. garret was hella funny in our presentation. i barely said a word. whatever. we had a lame subject anyways. there isnt really anything that you can say. and then we were in english. we started working on our essays but then ppl voted on us doing the vocab game (which we won) and then yeah. i guess i have my first draft due on monday and i hgihly doubt ill have time to do that. so i am most likely going to do it the night before. and it is the first class we have. haha.

so then i had the swim meet. and i was already stressing out cus im trying to figure out when i needed to go over to the gym. so i am getting out when i can and trying to dry off but they never came to get me. and then i did the 50 and then all of a sudden konecny comes running to me sayin that someone came to her and said that i was up in 10. so i guess it was kmae. so i jumped out of the pool and came running to the gym and did the fashion show. i had a wet butt ahahha!!

i ran into my really good friend!! on the way it was amazing! ely natalie justine romelo ely's bf. hahaha these are all kiddies that i hung otu with when i was a freshman. and htey were all seniors. they were like my best friends. it was soo good to see them because i havnt seen them since then. they all were lik your a senior! hahah. its crazy when i really think about it. but i makes me feel so good that they are here and that they are coming to the showcase tomoro. i was so sad when we stopped talking after a long time we all used to be so close. it made me miss them all. i even texted danny. who i guess had a gf and he is breaking up with her tomro. oh dear oh dear. so he doesnt know if he can make it to the showcase oh well. i still dont think he has gotten over what we had back in the day. but that was a long time ago. a long long time ago. and thats another whole long story in itself. bahahaah. takes up lik 5 days worth of blogs. i can tell you basically the whole story step by step. so yeah. i guess natalie is justin lai's cousin. it makes sense when i saw them talking to each other for a long time because duh they have the same last name. hahah she asked me how we met and i was lik umm my exbf. hahaha nd marques was right there. everyone was lik awkwarddddd. funny stuff


basically well i guess i dont kno. oh we danced right as we were gettin called up to do the dress rehearsal i had to leave to swim. which was gay. i feel bad cus i guess it seemed lik i was really pissed. but i was jsut in a bad mood. and its so stressful that i couldnt make it. it made me mad. i was already jsut in a bad mood. so yeah basically i jsut need to learn how to get everything down again. i need to calm down.


well i jsut dont kno what to talk about. i jsut am really exhausted from everything today. and i jsut dont kno i blahhhh. umm i feel like i am writing the same way i do in my journals for english. my head hurts. i cant even imagine how tired i will be after all of this weekend is over. i jsut shouldnt go to school on monday. that would make sense cus we dont even do anything at all during gold days anymore.

i guess ikezi wont be in class tomro. thats cool i guess. we are jsut watching a video and getting some extra credit stuff. and then precacl, new lesson. ex. sci nutrition. but i should be paying attention but i cant. oh well.


breakfast with anne litak and anne-marie stone. im excited. andre is going to davis. i finally talked to gus today. and the meet was a big joke. there was lik 5 ppl there.

i am done blabbering i jsut cant talk about anything. my head hurts. i need to pee and i need to sleep. i need to do other things.





i love you khrys and kat!!
here goes to the showcase tomro!!!!


oh and my bf wont even be there tomro cus hes going to the fricken concert. =/

oopsies

i havent called the pacific coach back yet. he has tried to call me two days in a row and i have been to the point where i jsut dont feel like calling people unless they call me and i can answer when i catch it. i dont feel lik calling people back. is that bad? i jsut sent an email to rick who is one of the coaches for davis. yuppp. basically. i should be brainstorming for my essay tomro but i dont feel like doing it. and i dont think i really need to do anything for class tomro. basicalllyyyy. haha.

so tomro is dress rehearsal and swim meet. thats gonna be hard to go back and forth. but i think its manageable as long as both parties are easy to work with. i need to be at both places but they both need to be reasonalbe at the same time. i hope i can get down radio. its there but its not at the same time. because wen we do it to full speed it goes so fast and i dont kno if i can get it down. but thats ok. cus we have rehearsal tomro all day. everywhere we can. and i have time to keep practicing all of friday. so yeah i think i can get it down. i need to relax and not get nervous. and i need to not care about how i look. cus then i am soo selfconscious.

basically. ummm. i found weep not child online. and i can search for words so hopefully i can find my quotes taht i need. i think if i get a child i am prolly gonna fricken blog during class when i get the laptops hahahahah. i need to write an essay during class but i really hope he isnt seirously thinking that we can write our final essay in 2 days. i mean we have other things going on in our lives.

so for tomro/friday. i need to figure out what i am going to wear. they want me to put on the chinese dress but i cant mess it up. lik seriously i am going to be runnign in and out of the pool. that wont be fun at all. ill smell like chlorine and i dont wanna mess up the clothes taht i will be wearing the next night.

speaking of swimming. so we have our big YAMAMOTO INVITE this saturday. first of all they DONT HAVE THE SHIRTS!! that we give out to all the teams that score in individual and in relays. its lik the version of ribbons and awards for everyone. and everone wears it. esp the one from last year because its bright yellow. i love those shirts i have them from 2 years before i even started going to SF. so i guess now we dont have any this year. which is hella gay. they are trying to make up this huge excuse that ppl didnt kno. well fuckin get a grip your supposed to be our coaches dont try and make some lame excuses. thats really dumb. suck some nuts honestly. nd trollope was definately there last year even if he was the guys coach i dont care thats dumb. no one is going to go to their meet next year. and i really hope they dont.

and then there is the whole thinga bout line up. i dont even think i can tlk about it anymore. natalie asks me for her help and then i try to give her my advice. then she pulls a whol 360 on me and wont even listen to what i have to say. i try and try but its lik no one gives a fuck about what the educated person has to say. lik fuck i have spent how many years of my life in swimming? like whouldnt you trust me to kno wat the hell im talking about. i plan on coaching as a side job. i love to coach. i know about strategy for swim meets and how thtings should be set up. lik seirously. wtfh. and then she goes off and goes THIS ISNT EVEN MY JOB blah blah blah. and im lik ill take care of it. she totally ignores me and goes IM GOING TO GIVE THIS BACK TO THEM AND TELL THEM THAT ITS BAD TIMING. and i want to scream ill fuckin do it you little baby!! shiiit. she isnt even swimming at the meet anywya.s homo. umm yeah i jsut cant talk about this anymore. i jsut emailed my head coach. kinda jsut stating my opinion. hahah yeah. ok im donski. im sleepy

i dont feel lik drafting my essay. all i need was that my english grade goes up. i need to borrow a book tomro. hahahah.

peace yall!!!

i jsut finished thank you cards that i need to pass out tormo at skool.

sometimes i wonder

sometimes i wanna kno when that day will come. when i get married to that one special guy. will it be a big wedding? will it be small? will it be at a church? at the beach? will i wear a big poofy dress? lace? simple? sleek? sexy? veil? crown? updo? down?


is that weird? is it weird that i wonder that sometimes? that i even might possible dream about it. lik every single detail. it kidna scares me. what if i dont find that love? how will i kno? will it be my boyfriend now? or will i not find him till im 40? i hope not. lol. i can see every little detail being perfected. im not much of a perfectionist but when it comes to things lik this. or my party. PHEW! i am gonna get what i want. i can see the list coming out now.

so ive thought about what i want at this very moment. but i dont have the exact details. i love the simplicity of the wedding when it is beachside. there is nothing too extravagent. i love simple beauty in itself. so this is definately what i want. i want a long beautiful sleek dress. with intriquite details, however i dont want it to overpower the dress cus that would ruin it. i dont want it to be too sleezy yet i want to look sexy and classy at the same time. so i would probably need to work with my designer on that. (because i will have each dress personally made to my liking) haha. i dont have my colors yet. but prolly something simple and that can work really well with anything and any time period. but i wnat my bridesmaids to look amazing. and most esp my maid of honor. she needs to look gorgeous.

and of course my husband needs to look up to par. haha. i will dress him and every single one of the groomsmen. i will pick the colors and check them to make sure everything looks perfect. =]

lets see. the cake will b tall and elegant. not too many flowers but beautiful detail. the cake topper needs to be pretty but i dont want it to be too big. the focus should b on the cake itself. but if i were standing next to it i need to be the focus haha.

lets see rings need to be perfect and simple. beautiful enough to last the rest of a lifetime. most likely in a church. not sure if i want a big wedding or not but in the end it will be. i have too many friends and too much family. ahha and then theres his side of the family lol. its going to be a huge party!! lots and lots of alcohol!!

camera men, photographers. umm i dont know wat else there is to think about haha.

thats all i can think of. im too distracted now. today was a good day with teh boyfriend. we are working on it to find the love again. maybe one of these days i will find it again. and maybe we might even be lucky enough to get married. hmmm. lets not think about it right now. hahaha.

we had dance practice today. i learned all of radio in one day now i need to master it. and i need to get grindier and dirtier when i do can we chill. so i am a lil worried that dress rehearsal is on thrusday but we have our swim meet so i dont kno if i can make it. hopefully we can push back hiphop enough so that kp and i can make it. cus the meet is ending early anyways. and there is so much going on this weekend.

weekend scheduale
wednesday: swim practice at club
thrusday: swim meet vs SHC (super easy) and dress rehearsal for intl showcase
friday: breakfast with anne litak and anne-marie stone, SJMVAL swim meet (varsity volunteers) and international showcase
saturday: yamamoto invite (varsity girls swim meet) and lancer auction (till 1130!!!)
sunday: isabelle's performance, visitation proj with anna and anne-marie, church at 6


did i mention that i still need to get down the hiphop dance. lol. i could prolly learn sarah's real fast. but id rather master the harder dances. i shall master and conquer! mwahhaha

oh and did i mention that swimming is hella gay. no i didnt. maybe i have but i dont care im saying it again. swimming is hella gay. lame sets. nothing to help us sprinters at all which is funny cus im pretty sure the only events that arent sprint events is the 200 im, 200 free, and 500 free. pretty much thats it. and i mean the relays are sprint and if anything we need to win those. the points are there. we dominated last year. and i cant even get the right motivation to want to be there. blah blah blah.

less than 2 months till graduation
30 days of class not including rando days off from swimming
did i mention senior ball is on the same day as CCS finals! gah. FML. watever

oh and did i mention im addicted to FML. bwahahaha

it seems that i have so much to say. im a blogging master now. pretty much. gus barrios (the assistant coach at pacific) jsut called me. but i missed the call cus i was eating. btw ugh to obama for ruingin my sced for watching american idol. and he didnt even start at 7 grrr. i mean at least do it during the whole time so i have something to watch on tv. i am a tv addict now. oh so that came up because the coaches at pacific think im obsessive compulsive about american idol. cus everytime they call me it happens to be on. hahah. and watch when i call they will ask and i will say what i jsut said previously. so yeah. he wants to talk to me about my trip. and ill probably needa come up with the topic about money. but how do u bring that up in a conversation. oh yeah i cant go to your school unless you come up with a sum of more than 20, 000??? lik seriously. idk how to say that.

umm what else. i needa work on scholarship stuff. i need to write an email to mrs fullerton about writing me a recc about my service aka san jose immersion. which i was trying to write today and that was difficult. i jsut dont kno how to say anything. lik seriously it sounds so bland and repetetive. ughh. and i need to work on this essay for english. he is such a jerk for doign that. i need to sneak my journal for english and get htose pages and catch up to evan. i need that a and if i have to knock out other ppl in my class i will. im competetive. and the real world is a competition.

i need to find the shirt that i need to wear to the auction. im excited to see teachers drunk thats prolly one of the main reasons why i am doing it.

so yesterday all night, i worked on thank you cards. which i am tired of doing cus i feel so lame and repetetive. its lik nothign i write makes any sense but hopefully they think so. hahah cus they are the one person reading it where i wrote lik 50 thank you cards. thank goodness for families. they make is so much easier. but now i gotta thank the ppl who came and didnt give me presetns. boo to them. hahaha. i prolly will hadn deliver so i dont hav to use all the stamps cus i need those for scholarships. im prolly gonna put parts of my essay on here. if anyone cares they can help me edit it. lol

wow this blog stemmed from weddings. bahhaha. ok im off. ill blog in lik a few hours most likely. this is in place of doing math hw. gotta go do some scholarship stuff. that is more imp.

peace

young love

i dont know what love is anymore? i want to love him. he loves me enough to give me a chance to find it again. i dont know if i lost love after all the problems or if it was never there. i dont kno the difference between what love is and what it isnt. what am i supposed to do. how am i supposed to find it? he gave me a chance. ugh. but do i deserve it? hes too good to me. i think he secretly hates me because of all the things he puts me through. but i dont kno. he puts me through the pain too. and it makes me wonder if that is why i stopped loving him. i dont remember how to love anymore. how do i love someone who isnt there to talk to me anymore. it hurts me. i dont kno anymore. he is waiting. should he be waiting? i dont kno ugh. im so confused. i want to find love again. i want it so bad but wat if i dont find it? what if its not there. he says hes going to wait for me.
ahh ahhh ahh FML!!

too much fighting. im tired of fighting. of crying all the time. i cant even look at him without crying because i am so disappointed in myself. and im sure he is too.

im sorry. so so sorry.

party much??

so many things are running through my head right now. i have no idea what to do and what to pick. i loved my time at uop so much! it was rediculous. ive never had so much fun in my whole life. ok maybe thats not true but ill jsut write about last night. so much happened. hhahaha. and of course kat and khrys are gonna read it! bahah might as well since then u guys can read what happend in my life. hahah. but im always so lazy to read all of yours im sorry guys. bahaha. im so lazy.

btw go on

http://www.vcpphotos.com/gallery2/

http://www.onefinaltouch.com/gallery/ria/

you will find pictures from my party. i cant save them on my computer and put them on facebook sorry. i wish cus i want ppl to see them.

so yea umm i wonder where i left off. hmm i dont kno. blahhh. oh btw im watchin wallee its funny. fat ppl. lol

so yeah anyways. i think the last time i wrote anything we were all hanging out in elena (my host) and lia's room. we were with all the recruits and jack was in our room too. so then befoer that we ate at micheal's pizza. that was tastey i liked that. and then we went back to the room and hung out. the girls started to get ready and we jsut chilled. byers and his recruit were in our room but they left. so basically everyone came over and then we just hung out. then we (the girls) headed over to april, devonie, and mellissas place. when the girls were gettin ready we took two doubles. that was good. umm so yeah we kidna chilled and hung out.

then we went for a walk to the townies where we were super early. haha. so we helped set up the bp table. then more ppl started coming. i started having my malibu and then the girls (in the pic) found some sky. which is lik 80 proof. that shit is hella strong. i had a double and then a few mins later a single. shit man i must have a hella low ass tolerance now. so i dont kno i started feeling it in my legs first. and then i swear it jsut came on me hella fast. and then shit just went down after that. bahah. i can tell you pieces by pieces. not in order but small things ir emember. i remember talking to ppl. and jayme was playing some drinkin game with cards but i dindt wanna touch that shit no more. hahah. i was hella starting to feel it. fuck. kept drinking my rum. lmao. and then i celebrity shot for elena i suck at bp. haha i shot over the table twice. bahaha. and then i prolly went to the baff lik twenty times. idk how i even got up and down those stairs a swear to god. and then i remember seeing melissa showing some of the girls this vid called. im on a boat. so lame. i was not mentally there at the time. i wanted to jsut slepe on the bed cus those beds looked really nice. and then i think i went down and i met some ppl. i met some guy named ben. he wasnt a swimmer. thats as much as i can remember from our convo.

i dont really remember wat happened in between that. i think i went and sat on the couch. uh. i went to the baf again. hahaha. i ran into april she told me her bf was max. but i guessed that. haha hes a cutie btw. and they are so cute together. and then joe was askin me if i was ok. and i was lik yeah yeah im great. and then i went downstairs. and outside. barfing fest. bahahha. they were lik proud of me tho. hahah cus i wasnt crying or makin a big deal. i was jsut lik *barf* and i warned them when it was coming. thats wen i started drinking a shitload of water! lik no other hahah. that was fun tho. they kept coming in and out asking me if im out telling me how proud of me they are. and then april, whom i love with a passion, comes to me and says your amazing. and it doesnt even matter because all the guys think ur cute. idk if its cute attractive or cute cus im small. bahaha either way that was a huge confidence booster. and i was lik yeahhh cool. hahaha. i swear to god i thought she said danny. which i hope she did cus he is a super good looking young feller. woohoo. but jessie kidna had her eyes on him and shes single so i let her mingle. lmao. but i swear every guy at that party knew my name. ahaha oh yeah wait i remember meeting bj at the party last night on the couch with his gf. now i remember hah hes a senior. so he doesnt swim so i dindt see him unless he was at the parties when i was sober. lmao. ok so yeah. anyways. i was outside for about an hour maybe longer. i progressed from standing up on a fence where the guys prolly peed (which i repsonded with well i puked) hahaha. and then lia got me a sweatshirt (which btw i think one of the guys were asking me if i wanted his if she couldnt find one. the guys were so generous to me. lol) and hten i sat down with elena. we chilled nad talked. she was tryin to cool down a lil bit. al (not his real name, nickname) was lik you can rest upstairs and elena was lik nooo dont do it! hahahahha. i was lik no thanks i need the fresh air. hes from one of those crazy s countries from europe that has a sick accent. hes a funny guy. bah bah. umm still outside. april runs out and wants me to go and dance cus ppl are starting to dance but is till dotn feel good. i wanted to sober up before dancing or else ill fuckin puke on teh floor. hhahaha. umm yeah so i stood up to talk with danny and elena. and i was lik im not feelign good again. puked. A LOT. hahahah god that one was funny. but i felt soo much better lik fucking my stomach felt cleaned and releived. i felt way better. sooo...

i ran into the hosue and started dancing hahahah. i guess i made this huge comeback. cus everyone thought that i was sooo gone! but i came back to conquer. the fuckin strobe light was crazy tho. the first time i walked in i was tripping balls. i saw ppl moving when they were standing still. haha people moving and dancing everywhere. so yeah i danced with the girls, with the recruit from washington, with mike (asian mike haha senior who was having a blast btw.) oha nd with danny. jessie had him most of the time. but i was dacing with someone (who i dont remeber) and then danny moved in front of jessie and closer to me. i got what they like to call a "london bridged" and later jessie moved up so we got sandwiched. but i swear to god. half of the time there were always 2 guys on me. ahahha. i dindt wanna leave. dancing was fun but then i realized that everyone had left. shit. ahha. i wish that lasted all night. maybe the drinks shouldnt hav happened. lmao.

so we all left and headed back to the lair. which is their late night restaurant. that was closing as we were still there (thats how late it was) and i ate fries and drank water. which i will for a while. haha. and then we went to sleep. which i slept really well but i was still tired. and then we woke up and went to swim practice. jessie, andrew (washington), pam (canada), and i got in the pool. it felt amazing. it was so relieving and i loved it. the pool is soo pretty when its not fucking being taken over by little children lik at swim meets. then jessie and i walked back to the dorm showered and then came back. that was good.

basically and the end. hahaha

so funny fact. we had this little round about going on. lik senior silent retreat. and we had to say an interesting fact about ourselves. my host told me to say that i was in a missy elliot video. omg they believed me for so long. but i felt bad and told them it wasnt true. and they were soo upset. and some of them at the party. were lik i dont care if ur not in a video. im going to believe it anywyas. and they all said that i was going to b nicknamed the girl in teh missy elliot vid, or the dancer. bahhaha. good stuff. ok so this entry is really really long. good story. i guess i could talk about the pros and cons about the skools. i should talk about wats on my mind about the teams. but i feel lik that should b a seperate blog and wen im not thiking about my awesome weekend.

hhaha ill give it a couple mins to settle in. until next time.

ria

university of the pacific

so yeah im on a recruiting trip at UoP its fuckin amazing. ahhh i am so glad i came here but at the same time im not because lik now im hella fuckin confused. i dont kno wat to do. i guess that i need to list out my pros and cons of both of the schools. there is so much that i need to think about. but yeah so far i am jsut gonna talk about my party. and maybe wen i get back at hoem after i finish everything ill do all the listing and see what you gotta say. anywyas so, so far on this trip its been good.

last night. well yesterday i got dropped off at the pool and met some people. theres 10 recruits here, which is a lot. omg. but yeah it was cool. we went to dinner and started talking to everyone. its really cool. the team is this huge huge family. lik the guys and girls are together. so we jsut hella tlaked and stuff it was fun. and then i went back to the dorm and my host, elena, and her roomie, lia, and her recruit, jesse, we all jsut chilled. it was really cool. i lik jesse a lot she seems really nice and i think she likes it here a lot we are really alike in our situations and stuff. so yeah and then we went to the townies (town houses) and jsut chilled with the whole team, even the seniors. they are done with their swimming career basically. btw my host almost fell on me. so funny. anyways so we went there. ppl played beer pong .i hate beer. but eyah and then i jsut chilled and got to kno the other ppl. lik the seniors are really cool. lik april and maxwell. they are so much fun. and nikki. my fellow shortie and asian. so yeah we basically talked about what is goig to happen tonight. which is amazing. i guess we are gonna hit up a frat party and some other parties. its going to jsut be a huge dance party i am so excited. me and jesse are gonna stretch out in the hallway. haha its going to get sooo hot! omg. it was so hot last night. but i love this team so much and they hav so much fun.

yeah. so today i dont think we did anytihng. we jsut hung out in teh room most of the time. and then watched them practice. we went to jsut hang. and yeah. we each went to have a meeting with the head coach. it was cool. and yeah. so basically i was kinda blahhh. i was so scared of talking about all my injuries. but basically the huge emphasis was about how we are going to work and have a good time. blah blah. i am so distracted right now.

my hair feels gross. i wanna wash it again but im too lazy but i kno it would feel good. im kidna tired. blah. i needa take a nap again before i go out tongiht. cus seriously i am sooo tired right now. i barely have gotten any sleep. the guys last night upstairs were so loud. no one left till lik 130. it was so annoying and then wen i tried taking a nap today with elena the kid upstairs wit the new dj equiptment started playing again. sooo annoying omfg! i mean does it really needa be that loud. i need some sleep gag me. yeah.

i miss my boyfriend super bad. blah. where has he been all my life. ok yeah so i think i am going to see him on monday and i get to have lunch with the love of my life. i dont kno how things are going to work out when i go to college.

i need a nap right nwo!!!! bahhhhhhhh

bah bah bah

im off. kat if u read this i love you!

UC DAVIS!?!?!

chyeahh i got accepted. i am now an aggie. not totally officially cus i wont send it my national letter of intent till i get the actual letter. but it was amazing. its so surreal. ive been running around telling everyone. but its lik it hasnt hit me yet. and i am not even on the team. i got in wiht a lil nudge but on my own at the same time. i mean they actually think im davis material! which i am! because i am going there!! im still in shock. i knew i was gonna make it but then i got so worried at the same time because i didnt kno. ive been waiting since the beginning of the school year because i since then i knew there was only one place hwere i wanted to be and that was davis. i was always so scared that if i didnt get in my whole future would be ruined.

i have a uop official visit this week. i miss school on friday and i leave on thursday. hoepfully od doesnt be stupid and put me in an event because i cannot swim in it. so yes i just wanna go there to use ncaa money haha. and to jsut check out my options i wanna make sure i made the right decision with davis. but the coach seems really nice. and stuff so i can see myself having a good time tehre. and i heard that all they do is party. bahahah i get to get my drink on for the first time in a while. since davis. lmao. thats a long time ago.

btw crap i jsut got my english grade lowered to a b+ fuck i need that a- so i dont hav to take a final. shitballs.

yesterday was a good day. i went to go see my lover. he was at school and we hung out. i missed him so much. we rarely get to see each other. but now with me going to davis we are only a train away from each other. jsut a couple hours. we can visit each other whenever we want. and if i ever swim near home i can go see him too. we watched RENT last night too. Bryant was AMAZING!! he fricken did a toe touch in heels last night! crazy shit. omg it was amazing i thought was gonna die tho cus he jumped up onto the table and i thought he was gonna fall off. the whole show was amazing there are some really talented singers there! they were amazing. i applaud them for a great performance

junior prom was last night i hope everyone had a great night! well yeah i have a large physics test tomro that i am not ready for. and i guess a ex. sci test and a knee proj that no one has done. oh well. tootles

WHATS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!?

omg! i am having a rash all over my body and i dont kno why its all over. its slowly going to different places on my body. my stomach hurts soo bad. i am going insane soo bad rite now. oh my god!!!

so a bunch of stuff happened from the last time i checked. i am watchiin 24 right now. and bill just died! omg so sad. and yeah so basically a lot has happened. starting from today. i jsut got home and i was doing a bunch of scholarship stuff but now i am too lazy to really do it. hahah i ll write all my stuff in place of doing real hw. lmao.

this weekend was a good weekend. kinda sorta. day light savings time really threw me off. i had my cousins cotillion this weekend. that was a blast. im tired as fuck.
i would love to talk about wat happened but it was jsut wild. i didnt sit down for a second. yupp.

today at school was no good. ok yeah im done

i bought my rent tickets too! yay!!

waiting for thrusday to come. its my 18 month anniversary with my lovely boyfriend, marques mallare. its our first swim meet against SI which we are gonna fail.
and most imp. i will find out if i get accepted or not into davis!!! eeeek!!!

love you long time

shout out to kat pabings

again

its me and this girls 18th year. =] her birthday is tomro. and her party this weekend. which is going to be so much fun and we have a dance since i am in her court.


hahahha discovery of puttin up photos and tryin to not do homework. its raining real bad behind me. this girl whoever she is on american idol sucks balls.

ummmm

so yeah here are some pictures from sadies of me and marques being lilo and stitch. and then stuff from my party

university of pacific just...

called me. a student called me to invite me to some stuff lik their profile day and different thiungs. but ill b on an official visit with the swim team from the 19-21st and then there is an open house for my major. and i would go to a class, a lab, a presentation and lunch wiht professors and other students. i think it would be a perfect opportunity for me becuase if i dont get into davis then i would need to choose between going to uop and sjsu. and i want that back up. and if i do end up liking my time with the team then i would lik to learn more about hte major there and everything. and hopefully i get a chance to consider the same things for sjsu. but i have been accepted into both schools so thats good. yeah i hope i enjoy my time. i want to have that chance to enjoy the school because i did take the time to apply there and the admissions ppl took time to read my app. so i might as well consider it.

so yeah. but today was basically a major FML day and yeah. and now tomro i have to swim at club pracitce for the first time in lik 4 weeks. its gonna suck. and yeah i hate our team basically so lame. and high school is really boring. and yeah. i need to get some work done. and do some letters that are due tomro. fuck. ok i gotta go do that. peace blogspot....


kat, khrysten, shelley, lys, cipi, and kmae are leaving me all alone tomro!!!!
-vic

exhausting day

i told kat that i would try and blog more and i wanted to blog on the night of sadies but i was too tired. so i guess i can go from there

friday, feb 27, 2009
Sadie Hawkins
theme: Space Jam
Marques and I dressed up as Lilo and Stitch. he had on a pretty legit mask but i dont feel lik putting up the picture so go to facebook.
the dance was alright nothing too special. but i was fun. i enjoyed arjun kicking melissa nunes' bf's ass in the battle. that was fun. and just dancing and enjoying myself with everyone. denny's was yummy too with kat, khrysten, jesse, and marques. and then i drove the brothers home and then i went home. yup.

saturday, feb 28, 2009
i drove to foster city with my parents and bought my dare esp since i have been using my mommy's phone for the past few months. that was gettin really difficult when i was tryin to get into contact with people and the only person i could use to get through that was marques. and then kimmy came over to my house and we worked on our roller coaster project.
and then sleep.

sunday, march 1,2009
10 am church at st joseph mountian view
then i went to oakridge to go shopping with my mom and i spent all of my gift cards from alyssa and shelley to forever 21. i bought hella stuff. a cute dress, a cute short purple skirt, 2 tops, a headband, sunglasses, and a belt. =] woo hoo. all $81. =]
then kimmy came over and worked on our roller coaster proj. she left at 2. it was jsut stressful and takes a while.

monday, march 2, 2009
school.
i had first period off but i was doing my math proj and then doing our roller coaster paragraph. i was still very tired and had huge ugly bags under my eyes. i looked lik shit. but thats ok because wen i went to physics everyone else looked jsut as bad at me so i didnt feel so bad. and math was so homo and then i just slept through all of exercise science. and i guess i have a quiz tomro in history but i dont hav my book so elyse passed me her notes. thank goodness for kind people. i still need to read weep not child. i think i need 20 more pages. or soemthing lik that. maybe less.

anyways, i jsut dont get anything about relationships anymroe.
boyfriend and i celebrate our year and half in 10 days. but its lik rediculous, slowly i am having a harder and harder time tryin to keep this relationship going. its supposed to be easy lik it always was before. its so annoying. he is never around anymore and we dont talk so its lik im forcing myself to love someone that i cant even remember if i really do love him or not. its not good when i have to question my feelings. lik what kidna bullshit is that. and then all of a sudden now he decided that he wants to join a fuckin frat. wtf is that bullshit. and now its taking up all his time cus he has to do all this stupid dancing bullshit. its all hella dumb. and he tells me that i act lik this is the worst thing in the world. but u kno wat the fuck, i am his girlfriend, why else would i not b mad. duh it takes up all his time and he is going to go to other parties and other different things lik that and then its jsut gonna go over board. i dont give a fuck. if he really feels like he needs to be going out there to get soem kidn of social life thats bullshit. i dont care if he says thats not the reason. as his girlfriend, i see that as nothing other than that. and i hate it. its jsut gonna make this relationship even harder. i kno i should but i dont think i can trust anyone, not even him. i dont believe that everyone is good. i kno hes gonna make a mistake. hes a huge flirt so hes probably all over all the girls taht try to get on his fuckin nuts at skool. its all bullshit. all i have to say is that wen i go to college, if he keeps pulling this bullshit im doing to join whatever is gonna piss him off. or make him uncomfortable. or i jsut wont talk to him. jsut keep swimming and go out and enjoy college. wihtout him really in my life. cus thats wat i am right now. bullshit. complete bullshit. i hate liars. and i dont lik sororities and frats. i think its jstu an excuse for ppl who feel lik they need some kidna of community to help them find real friends. they are jsut gonna b lik everyhthing else. he is such a follower. he jsut wants to b apart of the in crowd. lik everyone else. if i ahv so many problems why am i wiht him? sometimes i dont kno. i love him but i hate the things he does. that might not seem fair but i dont care anymroe. hes made those mistakes himself. and he doesnt seem to care about what i have to say about things.

im out peace.
ps i might still b pissed off tomro.