exhausting day

i told kat that i would try and blog more and i wanted to blog on the night of sadies but i was too tired. so i guess i can go from there

friday, feb 27, 2009
Sadie Hawkins
theme: Space Jam
Marques and I dressed up as Lilo and Stitch. he had on a pretty legit mask but i dont feel lik putting up the picture so go to facebook.
the dance was alright nothing too special. but i was fun. i enjoyed arjun kicking melissa nunes' bf's ass in the battle. that was fun. and just dancing and enjoying myself with everyone. denny's was yummy too with kat, khrysten, jesse, and marques. and then i drove the brothers home and then i went home. yup.

saturday, feb 28, 2009
i drove to foster city with my parents and bought my dare esp since i have been using my mommy's phone for the past few months. that was gettin really difficult when i was tryin to get into contact with people and the only person i could use to get through that was marques. and then kimmy came over to my house and we worked on our roller coaster project.
and then sleep.

sunday, march 1,2009
10 am church at st joseph mountian view
then i went to oakridge to go shopping with my mom and i spent all of my gift cards from alyssa and shelley to forever 21. i bought hella stuff. a cute dress, a cute short purple skirt, 2 tops, a headband, sunglasses, and a belt. =] woo hoo. all $81. =]
then kimmy came over and worked on our roller coaster proj. she left at 2. it was jsut stressful and takes a while.

monday, march 2, 2009
school.
i had first period off but i was doing my math proj and then doing our roller coaster paragraph. i was still very tired and had huge ugly bags under my eyes. i looked lik shit. but thats ok because wen i went to physics everyone else looked jsut as bad at me so i didnt feel so bad. and math was so homo and then i just slept through all of exercise science. and i guess i have a quiz tomro in history but i dont hav my book so elyse passed me her notes. thank goodness for kind people. i still need to read weep not child. i think i need 20 more pages. or soemthing lik that. maybe less.

anyways, i jsut dont get anything about relationships anymroe.
boyfriend and i celebrate our year and half in 10 days. but its lik rediculous, slowly i am having a harder and harder time tryin to keep this relationship going. its supposed to be easy lik it always was before. its so annoying. he is never around anymore and we dont talk so its lik im forcing myself to love someone that i cant even remember if i really do love him or not. its not good when i have to question my feelings. lik what kidna bullshit is that. and then all of a sudden now he decided that he wants to join a fuckin frat. wtf is that bullshit. and now its taking up all his time cus he has to do all this stupid dancing bullshit. its all hella dumb. and he tells me that i act lik this is the worst thing in the world. but u kno wat the fuck, i am his girlfriend, why else would i not b mad. duh it takes up all his time and he is going to go to other parties and other different things lik that and then its jsut gonna go over board. i dont give a fuck. if he really feels like he needs to be going out there to get soem kidn of social life thats bullshit. i dont care if he says thats not the reason. as his girlfriend, i see that as nothing other than that. and i hate it. its jsut gonna make this relationship even harder. i kno i should but i dont think i can trust anyone, not even him. i dont believe that everyone is good. i kno hes gonna make a mistake. hes a huge flirt so hes probably all over all the girls taht try to get on his fuckin nuts at skool. its all bullshit. all i have to say is that wen i go to college, if he keeps pulling this bullshit im doing to join whatever is gonna piss him off. or make him uncomfortable. or i jsut wont talk to him. jsut keep swimming and go out and enjoy college. wihtout him really in my life. cus thats wat i am right now. bullshit. complete bullshit. i hate liars. and i dont lik sororities and frats. i think its jstu an excuse for ppl who feel lik they need some kidna of community to help them find real friends. they are jsut gonna b lik everyhthing else. he is such a follower. he jsut wants to b apart of the in crowd. lik everyone else. if i ahv so many problems why am i wiht him? sometimes i dont kno. i love him but i hate the things he does. that might not seem fair but i dont care anymroe. hes made those mistakes himself. and he doesnt seem to care about what i have to say about things.

im out peace.
ps i might still b pissed off tomro.