June 12, 2009

8:20 am

Today is my 21 month anniversary with the boyfriend. These are the last few hours before I cannot use my phone. How sad. My mom told me that no one better be calling or texting me. I guess I should be keeping my phone off. Aww man I want to cry.


So I have decided that I don’t ever want to fly with my father ever again. He’s so fucking annoying always has to ask questions and point things out. Its like his brain disappears. Retarded. I have decided that one of these days I will be traveling on my own or with ppl that know how to travel. It’s the best wen ppl move quickly and know wat they are doing the people in new Orleans were pretty good. I keep thinking aobut nola.


I need to fill my nails. I don’t know if I should fill it in mexico or when I get back home. I am not sure yet. There is one thing for sure. And that is I always cannot stand my father wen we are on vacation. I want to shoot them in the face. Ugh. So annoying. Omg just ppl really piss me off. I think whne I go on travel I get more common sense and I become more alert so when people say dumb things It really pisses me off. But they are things that I can see myself saying at any other time.


I don’t know if I should start reading kite runner. I am super super excited to read b/c I kno ppl say that it is really good. Bah I just need to remember to not picture the movie that’s all but It was a long time ago and I only remember certain parts.


So this place that we are going to is supposed to be so so beautiful I am going to take as many good pictures as I can. I hope that I am allowed to have some drinks. I don’t really lik alcohol anymore but I want to get a lil accustomed to it so I don’t get too fucked up if I decide to drink in college. Lol. Which I probably will haha not a lot I hope. Nothing too crazy. I am in it more for the dress up an dpictures and costumes. Lol. I want to be able to meet ppl my age at the resort. And ugh. I need to loose weight and workout. I keep eating. I want this amazing body that I just seem to never get. And I gained over 5 lbs! eww my life. I just want to cry. Ugh. How sad. I am going to buy a shot glass wen I get there. Just a ‘collectable’ which they are. And I can put it to good use. Yenno yee

4:44 pm (Mexican time)


Well hello I am here in mexico. Super super humid. I am in my villa! Oh my gawd! Thank goodness for my parents getting that timeshare with el cid at Mazatlan. We scored big time with this one. Its lik we are living in our own little home in this little town. We even have our own personal pool in the backyeard and the Jacuzzis are right across the street. And we have a very short walk to the beach. Hey big spender! Amazing! Oh mmm gee! But my mom doesn’t seem to budge about the alcohol thing. We will see. But I def wanna come back here. It is so beautiful I love it already but man am I tired. Ok I need to unpack.

5:35 pm

Oh my jesus. I am so tired from unpacking. That takes so long. It is so hot and humid here. I am most def wearing dresses and shorts here. And mostly my bikinis. I think I should take a nap and then maybe head over to the beach and scout it out. There are a lot of ppl here. Mostly weddings and I think grads from college. And I see a few girls my age. Hopefully there will be some eye candy too. I should try to do some good photography. Well I am going to nap.

11:44 pm

So tonight was good. The evening ended really really well. I highly enjoyed it. So I took a quick nap and then went on a walk to the beach w/ my mom and sistah. The beach has couches for ppl to lay on w/ pillows! How cool and modern! I love it. And then I went to the pool. Major love-making area. I was only there for a few mins and it was lik that. But I did see 2 cute boys. I wanted to go for a swim wen we got home but it is late and I got home not too long ago. Oh well. Isabelle is waking up for an early morning swim and I wanted to do a run but I have to wake up at 6! Eww that’s so early in the morning. But I told someone that I would do runs on the beach and he wouldn’t listen to me. He thought that I had no capability of doing it. So I will prove him wrong.

So we went to this restaurant called cilantro’s. very high end delicious. I had Chilean sea bass. Well b/c I watch so much top chef I had to try it one of these days. The sauce was delicious and it was only 250 pesos. That’s under $20! Amazing. The sauce was a red pepper and then they grind it for the sauce. And then I had dessert. It was fried banana w/ a kahlua sauce. So delicious. I have never enjoyed a high end dinner so much in my life. We must have been there for hours. oh and our head chef was Mexican and Filipino! So sick! That’s prolly where he got the whole fried banana idea from. It was lik turon-ish. We were going to meet him but it got busy. Then we walked on the boardwalk and along the sidewalks of the beach. It was a lot like Waikiki w/ how it was set up . oh m gee. So many clubs! I wanted to just go in and start dancing. I am most def coming back here w/ friends to borrow the time-share and to go out and party lik a rockstar baby! It looked lik so much fun!

And then there were some art vendors. And there was this guy doing the spray painting art work and it was so fricken beautiful. I went and go one myself. Watched him make it most esp for me. He kinda uppoed the price but they deserve it. And I need the money. I don’t blame them so I gave it to them. Most esp entertaining. I am always being reminded of deangelo b/c everyone here is driving his car. His vw.

I cant sleep. Bah. Night.

June 11, 2009

8:01 pm

So I am here in LA nd today we went to the garment district and it was kidna hard to find. But my mom and I went to these stores and they were ehh. I went into this one store and I found this pochahantess (sp?) dress that is super super cute. I can find many reasons to wear it but first and foremost the plan is to wear it at Halloween. I think It is super sexy enough. Nd there was this blue dress. Short. Sophisticated. All done up w/ a zipper so I can zip it all the way or pull it down to show cleavage. Lol. I found and envisioned many diff uses. I am so proud of myself for thinking of this and then I walked down the alley. That was a lot of fun but kind of tiring. I got these sandels that are super comfy for 14 but 16 with tax. Oh and those dresses for 13 each. The guy who sold the dresses said he had a son that is 18 but he lives in france and he is in college. Too bad. I bet he had a sexy accent lol. And then I got this really cute old ladies hat for $9 for wearing on the beach. And then I went to this prom dress shop and they had a knock off sherri hill dress for only $95!!!!!!!! Oh my fricken gawddd! My heart sank! I wanted it so so so bad! And then I wanted these spandex shorts but the guy was being gay and not bargaining. Jerk. I was so mad so I walked away. I wanted them soo bad. Ugh. I hope somehow find some in mexico. Ugh yeah basically.


I am phsycially tired and I cannot believe that I am leaving for mexico tomoro morning and if you really think about it I am not leaving for that long. I am going to be back soon enough so I better make the most of it. And I gotta document it all to put u on my blog!!!


So I was texting kyle today and he made jokes and wat not. I don’t kno. I was thinking aobut him a lot! Today. That is so dangerous. I really just don’t know at to do anymore. Sometimes I feel like the boyfriend and I cant last. Its lik the spark has died down. Theres no more excitement. So much serious. And I guess it is just like an old married couple. And I think the other one is just making it a lot easier for me to see that in my relationship. I think i am so much more into it. I just wish he would show just a lil more towards me yenno. Its lik hes playing along and it leads me on. Just making it harder for me. Eh I needa chillax. Peace.

June 6, 2009

Omg so basically F My Life. I have to pack all day tomro. If I somehow wake up. But that’s ok. I cant believe that I am leaving so soon. Marques wasn’t in a good mood but hopefully he will be bettwe when I leave for mexico. That moody lil boy. I just hope that I remember all that is very necessary. Hopefully I bring enough clothes b/c I have that problem sometimes when I don’t pack enough. Aka NOLA. Haha but that was when I was packing totally focusing on work only. This is totally diff. ok well I am off to bed. Hopefully I am able to fill this during my trip. But knowing me I always find a way to get moody and need time to myself.

(btw..this isn’t written in my journal but this was written in an avatar journal. Lol)

home sweet home

i kept a journal on my vaca. so i'll eventually post up everything i wrote. it is gonna take me a while so you'll always have something to entertain you if ur super bored. i am so happpyyyy to be home. i hate being away so i am glad i am here. and i missed my computer. hahahah. so i needa get going on this typing stuff cus i will not hav much time to do that wen i start work and stuff on monday. otay. love yah

wat a day

well today has been an interesting day. lots of thinking and contemplating and my head hurts a lot. its been hurting lik excrutiating. i dont kno if it has to do with the fact htat i got a larger dose allergy shots or if its from being on the computer for so damn fricken long every day and every second. hahah. doing facebook quizzes wehn no one else is online. so i leave in a matter of hours. no cell phone =/ thats going to be hard. no internet. but i think itll be nice as well. cus i need to get away and jsut chillax on my own. go visit my alternate reality called vacation where im single with no worries. going to have a great time. too bad im not actually single. ahhahahahaahha. but things with the bf arent bad for once i must say. i saw him yesterday we watched wanted on his laptop and for the most part its good. he promised to go to loopkicks training when i am gone. he better i have my cousin to check up on him. lol. i wnat him to train.

so a couple of things happened today. first of all i woke up at 415 and i couldnt remember why i was waking up that damn early. so i got up and i was supposed to go to breakfast with chelsea but she didnt show up. ironically i did that to her last week so that is kidna funny. but i was so fricken exhausted i was going to pass out soo bad wen i was lifting. then i finished took a shower. ate at panera. and then slept at kp's till lik 1130. haha went to chipotle target adn borders. then went to get recertified for cpr at happy fish. jon and nick were there. i miss them so much. i am so sad that we arent working at teh same sites this year. jon and i used to eat lunch together everyday during the summer and bonded lik no other. =[ damn it for my coach being my employer and making sure that all the swimmers work at ohlone so we hav no choice but to go to evening practice. i really dont wanna do that. ill already be swimming in teh mornign and working all afternoon. i guess ill be hanign at andre's house (hopefully) and kp's a lot this summer. itll be good. and we will b reading. making a book club. =] hhahahaha funny stuff.

omg fricken this one person that i dont want to say the name of this persnnnn. but he just really likes to piss me off and drive me crazy. he facebook chats me saying that he is single and then i asked what happened and then he goes ill explain later. that is sooooooo lameeee because it is so annoying. he has doen this before. he wont even talk to me. and he worte this thing for me wen we were on our trip saying that we should always tay friends blah blah. i tried. i really did. but it makes me mad wen there are more lying peices of shits in teh world. more fuckin douche bags everywhere. that is so dumb. who does he think i am. that i am gonna chase after him. i hate him more than anything rite now. lik wen i see a picture of him i cringe ughhh. it makes me sooo mad. i didnt think i would hav such harsh feelings and maybe its a lil too mean. but he played me lik no other. how do u play someone wehn its only a friendship? wat asshole does that? i guess he does. watever. i dont even kno.

but then there is that other child. i dont kno how to feel about it all. its lik i dont want to overpush talkin to him. and lik i feel lik im a fuckin annoying peice of shit. hahahah. wow who knew i could feel so small by another person. i ahvnt felt lik that in such a long time. but i jsut dont kno anymore. its soo werid. i try to stay away from texting allt het ime. but i just texted him today and we talked about how someone needs to text more. or something idk. it got awkward because he kidna made it awkward about the bf. idk. and after that i tried to tell myself ot back off. cus its soo weirdddd. i jstu dnt knoooooo. ughhhh. oh well. i am jsut gonna let it all sit back wen i go on vaca and see wat happens.

so yeah. to my loves. i hpe you all enjoy ur time wen i am away. i hope u dont miss me too much and u dont love life too much wihtout me.

I LOVE YOUUUUU

best friends

kristine, danielle, marcus, sean, aimee, everyone else in the whole damn world. wat is the definition of a best friend? who do you consider to be the person you trust with your life. isnt a best friend supposed to be someone who listens and understands. knows you the best. hears you out. tells u wen ur being retarded but holds secrets that keep you safe. is your best friend someone who will never leave your side or hurt you. how can one person loose so many ppl that were so close to them? i only have one best friend now. i used to hav three. and that best friend is supposed to be my boyfriend. and i dont even kno if he can even do both roles sometimes. he wont even listen to me on the phone wen i talk about how perfect next year will b. i jsut dont kno anymore. this point in my life is so full of questions rite now. i hope that if anything i will find true frineds somewhere soon in my life. college will bring me friends hopefuly i can get along with them. adam and morgan are two ppl who i hope i see as maybe being something close enough. i love those kiddies and i kno swimming with them is going to be so much fun. ugh. my head hurts. i went to andre's grad brunch today. that was a lot of fun. the boys played king's cup and melnick lost. hahah funny. andre's daddy is really nice. they offered for me to come over all the time which i hope to take advantage of. i want to come over all the time. and sleep over and wat not. easy to go to morning practice after. ok i wanna sleep ill jsut get this over with later another time wen im awake. goodnight

summer

credit to andrew nguyen for this photo. good work. so yeah i got cut off yesterday from all my talkingness because a someoneee totally messed it up. btw watchin so you think you can dance is on. soo goood!!! i jsut dont kno wat the hell is mia micheals problem with brandon. i think thats his name. but yeah she was jsut chewing him uppp and lil c too. that made me soo soo super mad. and that the alex guy. asian. isnt making it cus his ballet studio wouldnt stop his contract for a lil bit. he was cryingggg. i started crying too because it was soo sad. all he wanted was to express himself in the different types of dance. ughh soo sad.


so hmm. i am leaving soon on thursday. no phone for me til lik the 19th i believe. but ill b coming home really late and wat not. so that is bah. i hope that it is a lot of fun. most of the time i jsut dont enjoy family vacations because i am with my parents (whom i dont get along with) and my sister (who is too young to hav fun with). bah. im 18 and the drinking age in mexico means that i am legally allowed to drink. i mean why not. i hope my parents let. mine arent lik those other parents that let their kids go wild on vacations yenno. but my dad says that i am going ZIP LINING! ahh. i am sooo excited to do that. i have always dreamed of diong it. i can see myself flipping a fuckin bitch! omg i would go psycho! hahah and then he is gonna let me go umm idk wat they are called. on those water jets..i think. i hav been waiting to do that too. i needa go buy more bikinis cus i realized im gonna wanna change it up and stuff cus imma b in my suit hella! haha. its summer time i dont wear clothes i wear swim suits. i hope we do some other fun thigns. i think that my parents are tryin to let me enjoy my last vaca cus i doubt ill b going with them from now on. i mean colelge and stuff. im gonna wanna go out with my friends and stuff. and then i am gonna get an internship next eyar. and ill still b in school wen they go on vaca this time next year.


boys boys. omg boys. idk wat to do with them. esp my boyfriend. that one. idk wat is going on with us. it is so difficult. wat do u do wen i love someone soo much and then wen u are together he doesnt talk to you. you try to talk and he doesnt respond. you try to make it fun and he jsut is all tired about everything. i am so annoyed and i am borderline now. i jsut cant do it anymroe. but wen i try to end it..it hurts me. my heart breaks thinking of my life without him. wat are u supposed to do about that? and then i am just starting to see lik wat life is lik to be free and single. gah. and then wen he was gone on his fraternity thing i went out and tried to enjoy my week without him there. and i had a lot of fun. i had the best week of my life. lik the tiem to be able to spend with my friends was so great and precious. its the most i hav ever spent with friends outside of my swim team during summer ever! and lik i kno i wont see him this summer. cus he has work and i hav work and swimming. and hopefully he starts training. and he has so many personal issues that i dont even kno wat to do. he wont talk to me about it. and then half the time i feel guilty because i dont kno wat to say. gha my life. someone give me answers. i really do need help.


facebook tells me that i should be dating white. hahaha. thats kidna funny. and ironic in some ways.

bah i never talked about my hollister story. well i guess i can tell that now or later? hmm...wat should i do? maybe ill do it another time. or in a couple minutes. jomar has it on video. hes making a documentary for summer. ok ill post my story on a seperate thing later. love you all

vu tang assemble

hello hello. long time no talk. so today i went to angela's house with the whole group. the whole vu tang groupie. we did all that jazz. the girlies met up and watched bride wars. omg that movie is redic. hahah good girl bonding time. and then we went to the pool and swam with the girls for a while. and then the boys eventually came and we swam some more. there was way too much stuff going on. hahah. but its all good. i had a lot of fun. and then we ate ceasars pizza at the park. but i guess there is spaghetti here and i might eat htat too. hahah and i ate a lot of pizza!!! bahhh. ok my mood just got ruined. today was soo good. and i am so glad that i hav such a great group of friends. but i was texting you kno who. and it got too serious. and now i just dont even kno. ughh. why did this mood hav to get ruined. there was no need to make this all so serious. bah bha bha my life. i am super tired. idk when the last time i wrote was. but im all graduated. i hav been graduated but it feels lik summer has only started since today because i actually got to hang out with my friends. swimming has been so blah my life. its been hard mentally and physcially. i am leaving for mexico soon. i am not sure how i feel about that. i hope my dad is serious bout me going zip lining. cus thats the one thing i am lookin forward to. and prolly spending a lot of time to myself on the beach. cus on family vacations i spend a lot of time iwth myself. my sister isnt old enough for us to hang out which sucks cus i never hav anyone with me. its kidna gay. bahh ok im tired. dont wanna talk anymore bah to b honest. zah. watching so u think u can dance.